I don't know why, but lately things that normally don't bother me are making me really irritated. Like today I was so anxious and irritated at an inspection that was taking FOR EVER. Normally I can just sit around and chat with who ever happens to be present. But today I kept checking my watch and could not wait to get out of there.
Even yesterday at Luke's birthday, before everyone got there I was so anxious and irritated ( I guess I need a better vocabulary). I could not wait for my beer to get there so I would calm down.
I am never like this. Normally, if I have been working out I feel fine. KC thinks that it is because I am focused so much on this whole baby thing that I can't concentrate on anything else. She is probably right. I check the forum and the blogs a billion times a day waiting to see if anyone (people I have most likely never met) has any good news related to babies. What? Who is this person?
Or maybe it is because I have too many different things going on. I'm just having a hard time keeping it together (clients-do not worry...). I keep forgetting things and I'm not calling back some people. That is something I never do unless they are trying to sell me something....:)
I'm really not trying to be a poo or have any poor me's. I'm in a small funk.
Maybe I just need some Amber time. I haven't got to have as much as I prefer lately. I have had something every night and ever day for many months.
Which brings me to my next worry. When am I going to start to feel normal? I feel like Luke and I are both just sitting around waiting for this unknown child. When this child is revealed to us we are going to sit around and wait to go pick him up, then we are going to have to recreate normal. How does all this happen? How am I going to juggle all my jobs and hobbies and add something major into the mix? If I can barely keep it together now, how is this going to work? I know that people do it all over the world, but I'm concerned. One thing that will have to happen is that I will have to stop working so much. And probably stop sleeping so much. Basically, if I did stop sleeping so much I would get a lot more done and be way less stressed out.
I had a law school professor who once told my first year class that to be successful as an attorney one must function on little to no sleep. That was how she did it. I wanted to ask how she ended up teaching?? I never liked her.
In other news...I finally figured out how to french braid just my bangs and put my hair up in a cute "Carly" pony tail and then found two gray hairs and another later in the night.
I purchased skin bleaching cream to battle my sunspots and it made my cheeks look like a rag doll.
Good news is that I have been taking vitamins lately and my nails have started to look good again, which concerns me about my previous vitamin deficiency?
My buddies did come over tonight and that was really nice. I had a great time and I love them.
I'm rambling.
3 comments:
i love the rambling! and i almost blogged last night too, but was way too tired! and a bit tipsy. but first off, you will never have your normal life, it will become a new normal and it will be amazing. and second, it just somehow magically works out. things fall into place and the things that are small and that don't matter fall to the side for a while. and sometimes permanently! just live your lives as much as you can now how you want to now! b/c soon someone will be in control for a bit. :)
Hang in there girl! I say keep sleeping as much as you want right now because, in a few months, you'll never get enough. Lots of things you now think are vital will suddenly become unimportant once your baby is home. It all works out - I know it's a lot to take on faith, but it does.
Yvonne
waiting is just the hardest part. And NO ONE gets it unless they've been there... waiting for someone to sign a piece of paper, or get back from vacation, or look at your paperwork, or process your visa app, or whatever. And it makes you irritable and unpleasant and feel like you might actually blow someone away in the grocery store line.
absolutely 'normal', which is what you are ultimately seeking-- isn't it fun?
just keep holding on with your super strong fingernails.
amanda-- over from the forum
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