I have been blogging in my head all day. I do this a lot. I think about what I will write and then I don't write or I forget, like I'm doing tonight. I especially do this when I want to write a letter to Ike. I don't think I have written him a letter for a year. That means that since he has been home I have not written about how much I love him and how much he means to Luke and me.

I feel like I'm forgetting a lot of things lately, or in the the last year. I used to have this super great memory where nothing would get passed me. I took no notes and would forget nothing. I mean nothing. Not a word anyone said. Ever since law school I forget so many things. I even forget places that I have actually been and am constantly asking Luke about things, simple things. "Luke have we been to.....(like a state or something huge)". Luke was talking about a time I was playing basketball with some kids at the Y and I "stuffed" this kid and his friends made fun of him every time they saw me. I have absolutely no recollection of this or who knows how many other things.

So I'm worried I'm going to forget the first day Ike walked. We were iced in. Luke was home from work because his office was closed due to ice, but he was on a conference call in the back room. All the sudden Ike started running. Not walking but running everywhere and then falling down on his face. He was laughing and screaming so loud and I knew that he should be quiet, but I was so excited for him. Or how last Friday we were getting ready to go on our morning walk and Ike ran up to me and said "poop". I asked him if he needed to poop and if he wanted to go in the potty and he ran to the bathroom and pooped in the toilet! Just like that! Of course, now he wants to go to the potty all the time for no reason. But it was one of the best days ever.

I don't want to forget how Ike works in the garden or sings the "abc's" or counts everything. How the other day, in the rain, we were dumping the water out of our rain barrels into buckets and dumping that water into watering pails to water my garden that doesn't get rain. Ike was so excited to help and was in charge of filling up the buckets with the hose from the rain barrels. He was so wet and laughing the entire time. Or earlier that weekend it started raining as soon as we got to the zoo. All the other parents and children where hiding under the awning waiting out the rain. Ike ran straight into the rain and started singing and dancing in the rain, running and sliding into puddles.

I don't want to forget the way Luke looks at Ike or how Ike looks at me. and how he runs up to me saying, "mom, momma, mom, mom, momma.." is this sad little voice when he want a snack with his lip stuck out and hands out reached. I really just want to remember everything and every moment. Even the one's where I am trying to hold him in the store and he is pushing me away with his super baby strength screaming like I'm killing him and leaning towards the ground and I'm trying to not drop him to the effect of throwing out my back. Where everyone is staring at us like I've lost my mind or I am the worst mom ever. :)

I hate to be so incredibly cheesy all the time but apparently this is the only thing I can write about right now.