Friday, September 24, 2010

Right Place Right Time?

People always say "right place, right time". But to believe that you would also have to believe the opposite, "wrong place, wrong time". This doesn't really fit in to my "make the most of it" attitude.
I am one of those people that believe there is a 'reason for everything' and 'God has a plan'. I met Luke at a college retreat I did not want to go to, and I almost didn't go to that college and neither did he-I believe God gave me Luke. Ike's birth mother made the heart wrenching decision to put him in an orphanage at the exact same time that lead up to us being ready to adopt a baby. God gave us Ike, even though the events that lead up to this were tragic.
Luke's biological father was killed in a helicopter accident in the 1980's in Oklahoma. Instead of his mom moving back to the east coast, which was her plan, she stayed here, married, and he adopted Luke and years latter we met. If Luke's dad wouldn't have tragically died, we most likely would not have met, gotten married and adopted Ike.
These examples (except the college one) are of something beautiful coming out of something absolutely horrible. I can see how good things happen out of extremely bad circumstances, sometimes...
This is easy to believe when you live an easy life. I was born in Oklahoma to a loving family who provided me with the opportunity to be anything I wanted. The woman I sponsor through Women for Women was born in Rwanda during the same time frame. She has probably witnessed, and been involved in, more horrific tragic events than I could ever even imagine. We are subject to the time and circumstances of our birth. And what about the 147 million children in the world who need a home? How do these ideals fit into their life? How can I come up with these rainbow outcomes when so many people are suffering and there are so many horrible tragedies in the word?
Someone said to me recently, "into every life, a little rain must fall". I'm not sure what this even means. I'm from Oklahoma. In Oklahoma, rain is a miracle. Rain brings life, rain grows crops, rain bring down the dust. But rain also takes the sunshine away.
Early this week a bright ray of sunshine was taken away from our world. My friend was ruthlessly murdered in ____ where he was living. He was from El Paso and he worked in that city. But he was living in ______ because his wife just got her citizenship. They were planing on moving to the other side of the border soon. He was surrounded and shot in front of his wife and two children over what, we can only imagine, a mistaken identity. He was a clear a bright ray of sunshine. He was probably the nicest, most caring and friendly person I have ever met. It would be impossible for anyone to count the number of friends he had made in his short life. I would guess that number to be all the people whom he was ever introduced.
Of course we are all in shock and in a state of extreme sadness.
I was fortunate enough to be able to hang out with him one last time this summer. I had actually not seen him since college, 10 years ago. I asked him, "is it really as bad as they say in _____?", his reply, "yes".
In my naive, sheltered mind, things like this happen to other people. Gang violence happens to people who are affiliated with a gang or CEO's of large companies that get kidnapped. Not beautiful, working family men.
Where is the sliver lining in this nightmare of a story? How can anything good ever come out of this? Will his children know how much he loved them? Will his wife be okay?
I can only pray that in some twisted mixed up way, something good will grow after this storm.


Jenny said...

Oh man... I am SO sorry to hear this. I know your heart must be hurting right now. I'm so glad you were able to spend some time with him this summer. Praying for all who are grieving right now.

Sandra said...

I am so sorry for your loss. For his family's loss. How horrible that they not only lost their husband and father, but that they had to witness his life being taken. What an absolute nightmare.

Will something good come of this? I want to believe so.